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I am now dog
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Blurb: Ever just like felt like a dog
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I am now Dog I am now Dog is dedicated to my Dad and my brother. We are all bastards and get away with far too much in life. But life is pure and so are we. This is the reason I wrote I am now dog. It’s funny, hip and toys with the human condition as well as current socio-political events in a way that that, frankly, turns my literary head on. There is a debt of honour for Mikhail Bulgakov’s heart of the dog, which I felt, failed/meandered in many places. Such is life, such are other people’s stories the foundation for which I borrow and steal ever so zealously wherever I can. Do not fear for never will I fail to innovate and add in the new. Such is my want, such is my style.
How to make a haunted house a home: A ghost story with an uncouth twist. (Horror comedy novella)
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Paperback Price: 8.00
Blurb: How do you make a haunted house a home?
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Paperback Price: 8.00
AMERICAN HORROR STORY for the printed word. How to make a haunted house a home is a ghost story with a literary twist. Told with grand doses of humour against the backdrop of real life implications for a family riddled with tension and nothing but headaches... Influences include: Richard Matheson, Isaac Asimov, Stephen King, Anne Rice, Woody Allen and Arthur C. Clarke.
The island of the Dead, the Damned and the Doomed!: Love thy neighbour (Dastardly tales of modern day toilings! Book 7)
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Blurb: This morality tale is funny. Funny ha-ha and funny make ya brain twist n’whirl!
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It has a certain rhythm to its eccentricities that I dutifully believe some folks will find worthwhile! It goes places and stretches further the tightly knit bonds that hold most of my stories together. This could be to its benefit or detriment, hard to say… But its different Unique and always fairly original and… for me at least these are the prerequisites for bare minimum enjoyment when it comes to all available forms of creative endeavours. So what’s it about? Like all of my minor morality tales you’ll have to read on won’t ya now! Influenced by: Kobo Abe, Vonnegut, Ryu Murakami, Bruno Schulz, Herman Hesse and all the practical jokers of the world!
The Invisible Man : A young adult horror comedy tale for the peculiar looking kids
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Paperback Price: 8.00
Blurb: Ever just felt invisible?
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Paperback Price: 8.00
The invisible man... is the invisible boy... who meets the invisible girl... It's a modern reworking of the invisible man. It's a salvation tale for the kids who do not know how to live. It's a young adult tale written by an adult who dislikes pandering down to those who know more than he does. Enjoy!!!
The three kids who killed a Werewolf: Where the wild roses used to bloom... The inner Werewolf in all of us.
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Blurb: American Horror story for the written word!
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The three kids who killed a werewolf is a morality tale that shall plummet the depths of innocence, from school time to adulthood and explore the morale repercussions to a society at large. Literary influences include Richard Matheson, Kurt Vonnegut, Kobo Abe and Ryu Murakami.
Cabin in the Woods: The Man, the Myth, the Fairytale...where true poetic loneliness lies.
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Blurb: Can you really, ever, truly live alone?
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Authors note This story is unusual. A rather long prose-poem if you will… It is not meant for the usual rabble of people. If you have a literary bent, stick with it, if you find people confusing then prepare to be enlightened with the story of: THE MYTH, THE MAN, THE FAIRYTALE! Man cannot be an island unto himself...but if he was, here's how it might go...
The man who needed to be exorcised...: (Doppelgänger blues!!!) Aka The emotional influenza.
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Blurb: For those who feel the world is fucked up!
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What happens when you combine Moliere's the misanthrope, Huysmans Against the Grain, Dostoevsky's bureaucratic nightmares and a whole heap of junk stored in the mind of a wayward writer hell bent on divine literary creativity? You get this bad mama-jumbo of a stream of conscious novella about a man who's superb at a job that only requires five minutes of work an eight hour day, see's doppelgängers who do not look like him everywhere and fails to look after a turtle. The jewel encrusted turtle being the only one he can have a joke with. Let's face it, we know he's gonna blow something up, time to guess what?
Twenty-First Century Mankind Blues: SO YA WANNA BE A SERIAL KILLER...
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Blurb: What occurs when you adopt a persona from the start and then work backward?
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What occurs when you adopt a persona from the start and then work backward? When the world is revealed to you in reverse there can only be mayhem. A paean to detective novels, told with humour and the human condition at its heart. Trigger warning! Not for the faint hearted, must have the darkest sense of temperament.
Fairytales, Folklore and Fantasy: Snow White, Red shoes and other tales reworked in a timeless fashion.
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Blurb: All your favourite childhood characters and tales reimagined!
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Preface These tales are not stories in the conventional sense. They are steeped in the quirky tradition of Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm’s collected stories. I’ve used the framework of the fairytale to condense a novels ideas into a short story. Time and time again things are introduced and taken away and moved around and… The fairytale has a sweet and glorious pace all of its own. These fairytales are unique in their freshness and timeless and easy to read and full to the brim of all the magical things life can bring. There is death and sour endings and goodness and rewards and twists and unique spins on old friends we believe we knew all too well. Life is full of kookiness, drenched in unusual characters, invented or witnessed in real life. They are alive to me. I hope they shall live on for you also… Sincerely the author D. David Croot
Fairytales, Folklore and Fantasy Book 2: Where we meet Goldilocks, The Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid and many more full of life characters.
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Blurb: Fairytales reimagined for a new generation of readers!
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Preface for Book 2 A continuation of Book 1's wondrous characters as well as numerous additions: Goldilocks and the three bears, The Pied Piper, The little Mermaid and many more surprises. Ten fascinating stories to ignite the imagination. If you're lucky we might even catch up with the storyteller and the ageing starlet Snow White! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These tales are not stories in the conventional sense. They are steeped in the quirky tradition of Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm’s collected stories. I’ve used the framework of the fairytale to condense a novels ideas into a short story. Time and time again things are introduced and taken away and moved around and… The fairytale has a sweet and glorious pace all of its own. These fairytales are unique in their freshness and timeless and easy to read and full to the brim of all the magical things life can bring. There is death and sour endings and goodness and rewards and twists and unique spins on old friends, we believe we knew all too well. Life is full of kookiness, drenched in unusual characters, invented or witnessed in real life. They are alive to me. I hope they shall live on for you also… Sincerely the author D. David Croot
The story of the stone: Fairytales, folkore and fantasy!
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Blurb: A brilliant tale for all of time!
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Pretty preface Normally I would write a little longer of a preface, douse the prose in a little electricity to get things going and so on. However…this standalone triptych of a tale, three tales in all, concerns BIG things done in a playful way. The stories have plenty of room to speak for themselves. I just wanted to state clearly, if magic and wonder is what you are after, you need look no further than the Story of the stone. Many happy evenings and glad tidings to all who read on.
Fairytales, Folklore and Fantasy Book 3: Where we meet Pinocchio, Peter Pan and Alice in her own wonderland...
E-book Price: 4.99
Blurb: Life is full of kookiness, drenched in unusual characters, invented or witnessed in real life.
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Preface for Book 3 A continuation of Book 1 and 2's wondrous characters as well as numerous additions: Pinocchio, Peter Pan and Alice in her own wonderland...and many more surprises. Seven fascinating stories to ignite the imagination of young and old alike! If you're lucky we might even catch up with our fan favourite - the rock n' roll King. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These tales are not stories in the conventional sense. They are steeped in the quirky tradition of Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm’s collected stories. I’ve used the framework of the fairytale to condense a novels ideas into a short story. Time and time again things are introduced and taken away and moved around and… The fairytale has a sweet and glorious pace all of its own. These fairytales are unique in their freshness and timeless and easy to read and full to the brim of all the magical things life can bring. There is death and sour endings and goodness and rewards and twists and unique spins on old friends, we believe we knew all too well. Life is full of kookiness, drenched in unusual characters, invented or witnessed in real life. They are alive to me. I hope they shall live on for you also… Sincerely the author D. David Croot
The Box men!: Japanese literature for a European audience
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Blurb: There are people who live in boxes, don't ya know?
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The box men takes its influence from a peculiar novel of Kobo Abe’s, aptly titled The Box Man. The box men or Or how I learned to love the box, is an unusual type of modern day horror. It holds a mirror up to us, as well as society at large. It does not preach and is written in a rather disturbing manner. The manner mainly being satire and tiny jabs of humour that keep the story grooving. These people are unusual, disturbed but still they have to live on and learn and find ways to communicate with one another, no matter their curious difficulties. It is my humble honour to introduce the first box man who does not appear to know what a joke is…make of that what you will. ——————————————————————————————————————— These stories are openly based, much like Tales from the crypt or the twilight zone, upon other peoples work. They exist to be brief, entertain and maybe open a heart or two. It is an honour to be read and never shall I forget that Sincerely D.David Croot
The General Pointlessness of Being: So you wanna be a rebel!
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Blurb: So you wanna be a rebel? growing up is hard to do, yah?
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I wish this was a novel about being a tramp. I wish I could have witnessed the gulag, the concentration camps of any world war. It would have given myself such a unique point of view, a voice to stand above it all… but my upbringing staved off any lucky strike at a down and out skid-row experience....I was brought up normal, yet I turned out anything but... Thus starts the young adults journey through hell… A biography of sorts, a bildungsroman of uneven proportions! (THE BOREDOM TRILOGY can be read in any order) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Written with the wit of Kurt Vonnegut, the heart of Knut Hamsun and Carson McCullers combined. Truly a modern incarnation of that blunted reality seeker Charles Bukowski. Herman Hesse could not have written this! Stephen King wishes he was this fiendish and Douglas Adams craved to be this funny! This is the devilish slice of life you all seek! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- D. David Croot has been writing on and off (pretty much continually) for nineteen hundred years. He is no preternatural creature, no real special abilities or heightened desires to speak of, but he’s put in his four-trillion hours and it’s all for you my sweaty precious and sublimely beautiful creatures.
The boy who would not leave his room.: A modern day farcical adventure.
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Blurb: The boy who would not leave his room is not a boy at all. How old is he? Who knows... Does it matter? Probably not...
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The boy who would not leave his room is not a boy at all. How old is he? Who knows... Does it matter? Probably not... What is the point of his docile and meaningless existence? It is unclear. There is no answer for life's riddle. This is why you must read on...Will he ever leave his room? Why does a therapist join him in his room? Is it better to live inside of the room for all of time? Maybe... Life, for the unlucky and unloved can be cruel... Imagine... a little Hermann Hesse's Steppenwolf mixed with like a Dragons irreverent humour! An odd collaboration I know. An alternate title could be - how people come together... or the road to adventure!
Is it true, do Dreams come true?: a slow burn enemies to lovers satire!
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Blurb: how to become a woman of the world...
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How to become a woman of the world, part satirical, part long life lived...an exploration of the sexual side of life perhaps? Gretta Delouche has a family who are not bad people just neglectful. She is sent away and must find ways to endure her solitude at an all girls school. We see her sexual awakening and flirtations with the bohemian and decadent side of life. We pay witness to her love and inner monologues about how funny life can be...all written with D.David Croot's inimitable wit, panache and flair ridden style. Starts off with a comedic bang and ends with a solemn reflective note. Gretta is looking back on her life and in many ways, always dreaming... is it true, do dreams come true?